Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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