its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
