I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
