Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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