If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
