Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
