So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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