I want to walk on stilts...naked
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How does it feel to date your dad?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
