I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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