On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
