: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
