That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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