i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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