The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
