Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
