Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize