Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
