she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
