I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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