Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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