But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
