Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
