Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
