Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
