i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
