is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
