You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize