Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
