therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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