from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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