He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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