but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
