my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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