Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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