She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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