fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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