Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize