hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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