great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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