You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
