Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
