If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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