Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
