i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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