Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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