All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
