She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
