He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
