Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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