Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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