I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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