some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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