I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
