My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
