Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize