halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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