in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize