bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
