she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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