it wasn't lemon gatorade
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
